I don’t believe in horoscopes. I don’t think that the way the stars are grouped or aligned, or the way the moon is positioned is going to rule my day-to-day goings on. I am, however, fascinated that these horoscopes can be vague enough to apply to everyone born within that certain month, yet specific enough that readers take it to heart. (Oh! This is the day I’m going to meet my soul mate!) Maybe it’s this fascination that keeps me reading my horoscope in the Express on my walk to work every morning. For instance:
Gemini (May 21-June 20): You may have to be painfully honest with yourself in order to benefit from your own current circumstances. An important lesson can be learned. (Express, D.C.)
And I admit it: today, I thought, Wow, that is so appropriate to my life. Hm, I wonder what the important lesson is. And then I thought, And I wonder how many other geminis are thinking the same thing.
But what if I weren’t living in the D.C. area? Would my horoscope still be the same? I mean, the stars don’t align any differently if I’m here, back in Philly, elsewhere on the East Coast, or on the West Coast, right? Apparently, they do.
I did a quick Google search and, after filtering through sites that offered me “FREE Psychic Readings” and a “Past life report” (this life is plenty fine, thank you), I found that if I lived a few states south, the stars would tell me something different.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Strive for perfection and you will win the approval of your peer group. You can talk your way to the top if you set emotions aside and focus on what needs to be done. Money is heading your way. (upstatetoday.com, South Carolina)
Now wait just a minute: Money is heading your way. I may not be very materialistic, but I am a young research assistant who could use a financial helping hand, ergo, that’s pretty appealing. Maybe horoscopes are like the SATs: take them three times and then choose your best scores. Or, in this case, find three different readings and choose the most promising from each. So I looked for another:
Gemini (May 21-June 21): Daily tasks seem to be messing with your balance. You may throw up your hands in frustration. Then something wondrous happens. A kindred spirit comes to the rescue. (L.A. Times; Philadelphia Inquirer)
So…I can learn an important lesson if I’m painfully honest (not really a fan of the “painfully” part), and in doing so, will probably have to set my emotions aside. If I succeed, a kindred spirit will come to my rescue – maybe helping me learn the lesson, and bringing me money.
Hey, it could happen.
Update: For 9/23/08:
Gemini (May 21-June 20): A surprise is in store for you. Be sure to keep your eyes and ears open at all times.
Sweet! I love surprises!