TMI Thursday: Tastes like low standards

Via Lilu: ***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!***

When I was home last fall for my high school reunion, I hinted that PiC was itching to set me up with one of her boyfriend’s friends. As it turned out, she actually presented me with options.

Option 1: Her boyfriend’s friend

Option 2: Her sister’s fiance’s friend

Today’s story is brought to you regarding Option 2 – sister’s fiance’s friend, or, SFF.

It begins at the reunion. Surrounded by about a third of our former classmates, we all proceeded to take advantage of the open bar and the table full of delicious appetizers. But, let’s be honest, mostly the bar. And the problem with finding a seat at the bar, at the opposite end of the room as the food table, is that 1) you’re not eating, and 2) you don’t realize how drunk you are until you stand up. And at that point, it’s pretty hard to even make it over to the appetizers, in any sort of attempt to soak up all your gin and tonics.

So there’s that.

And as the party was winding down (read: the open bar was closing and people were branching off to other parties/bars), PiC and I decided to change destinations – and meet up with her sister and co. Including SFF. Now, I’ll admit it; I may have been a bit sloppy. It definitely wasn’t one of my finer nights. But SFF apparently found me charming and engaging, nonetheless. Don’t ask me why.

Our group was standing at the bar, and I was bouncing back and forth between the end with the plate of cheesy, greasy nachos, and the end with SFF – with whom I’d just started a mini bar make-out session.

At some point, I trotted off to the bathroom with PiC’s sister and as I was washing my hands I felt an unfortunate rumble in my gut. Before I knew it, I was booking it back into the stall and purging every last nacho from my body. So attractive. Sister came in to hold my hair back, helped me wash my face, and just generally cleaned me up. And I made the assumption that what happens in the ladies room stays in the ladies room.

Feeling MUCH better, I bounced back out and proceeded to down the glass of water that was handed it to me.

And continued to make out with SFF – feeling a little bit guilty that I’d just boot and rallied (booted and rallied?) and he didn’t know.

Except…he did. And decided to go for it anyway. Like a champ.

If I haven’t said it recently, I make great first impressions.