Dear Country Music -
We need to talk. I really really like you. You know that, right? Not only do you have an excellent showing on my iTunes, but also on my Recently Played list. So you know it’s not just an act.
When other people rag on your lyrics and your twang, I stick up for you. You’re my favorite genre to sing along to in the shower. I even love some of the slightly ridiculous songs – with the lyrics that everyone thinks, but no one else sings.
But, there’s a line. And it’s been crossed.
You started out slowly, just testing the waters. And so I let “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” slide. It’s not one that I’ll download myself, but I’ll keep it on the radio if I can’t find anything better.
And then came “Ticks.” I’m sorry, Brad. I like you a lot; you’re very entertaining. I just can’t get behind a song whose lyrics say:
Cause I’d like to see you out in the moonlight
I’d like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I’d like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I’d like to check you for ticks
But I continued to be a fan, chalking those two up to poor decisions. And who hasn’t made a poor decision or ten in their lifetime? I’m trying to be understanding here.
And then I heard this on the radio this past weekend:
She was rockin’ the beer gut and I love the way she’s not ashamed
Rockin’ the beer gut well it’s just some extra love around her waist
Rockin’ the beer gut she’s more than hot, she’s everything and with the blue jeans a little tight around her butt
Rockin’ the beer gut
You’re killing me, Smalls.
Sexy tractors, ticks and beer guts…it’s like I don’t even know you anymore, Country.
I don’t want to end this, so please, think about what you’re doing.
I’ll be here when you come to your senses,