‘Twas the day before Christmas, and wouldn’t you know
I still had a little more shopping to go;
To the mall we sped not a moment to spare,
Prepared for the crowds that would surely be there;
The mall it was buzzing, the crowds they were dense,
Shopping on Christmas Eve doesn’t make much sense.
My mission was twofold on this shopping spree,
Part gift for my father, part present for me,
Now I know what you’re thinking, a present for you?
But let me explain; it’s the least I can do.
For a long time now I’ve wanted an iPhone,
My BlackBerry consistently made me groan.
The ‘rents finally agreed, “We’ll get this for you,
But this means no more family plan – you’re through.”
I pondered a bit the benefits and cost,
But the decision was plain and BlackBerry lost.
So at the mall we stopped at AT&T,
And I waited my turn quite impatiently;
You wouldn’t think a switch would be such a hassle,
But really, nothing about it was facile;
I had the info, the account in my name,
But AT&T told me, “You’re not who you claim.“
I did not understand, it could not be true,
I answered the questions the best that I knew.
The in-person agent did all that he could,
Assuring headquarters my license was good;
He checked all my IDs and my credit cards, too,
Not sure if anything at this point would do.
And then, like magic, the phone agent gave in,
She told the in-person one, “Fine, you win.
Give this girl an iPhone, I guess she’s all right,
I’m really just tired of putting up a fight.“
At least I imagine that that’s what she said,
Because that’s what would have been going through my head.
With this transaction finally completed,
I left the store to get what else I needed;
Of course, I just wanted to play with my new toy,
Angry Birds, Words With Friends, relax and enjoy;
There was still, however, work to be done,
Laundry and cleaning and wrapping – a ton.
Finally I was finished, free time was here!
I could explore the gadget I’d wanted for a year.
I downloaded apps and Bumped information,
And marveled at the speed with much elation;
So this is what a real smartphone does, I thought,
It accesses the web, it works when it ought!
I know the danger of becoming an addict,
It’s something the boyfriend certainly did predict;
But for right now it’s new, so I really don’t care,
I could stop any old time that I want – I swear!
Aside from that danger I really am thrilled,
Except for the prospect of getting billed;
And my parents could tell just how happy I am,
As they rarely saw the phone out of my hand.
But finally they said, with love in their tone,
“Merry Christmas, Liebchen, now put down your phone!“
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