This past weekend BNF and I went up to Philly to meet with the pastor who will be marrying us in less than four months(!). We haven’t had any sessions with him yet, but all my married friends warned me about the “marriage test” they had to take for their pre-marital counseling.
“There are just a bunch of questions to find out if you’re on the same page. You sit in separate rooms, but M and I texted each other to make sure we put the same answers. We don’t have time for extra sessions!“
But apparently Presbyterians are a little more lax than Catholics.
Pastor B talked us through the ceremony structure and the possible elements that could go into it. We talked about reconciling my beliefs with the Jewish-atheist views of BNF. We discussed when, exactly, we’d rehearse the whole thing, since Pastor B has another wedding the night before ours. All very productive and positive things.
But no test.
As we were wrapping up, Pastor B gave us our homework assignment for the next meeting.
“Think of five things you love about the other person, and three that drive you crazy.” And then he shared this anecdote.
“I once had a couple in here to whom I’d given that assignment, and the guy said ‘I can’t think of three things.’ So I said to him, ‘Then I can’t marry you because you don’t know your fiancee well enough. I can give you five things that drive me crazy about her right now!‘”
Quite the sense of humor, Pastor B, but he has a point. If there isn’t one thing that drives you crazy about the other person – even if it’s something small – then you’re probably still on your best behavior around each other.
Think you can keep that up for a lifetime?
This whole assignment made me think of Up All Night. If you have time, watch the clip. I'm glad we don't have a whiteboard.
I can’t speak for BNF (and we’re not actually supposed to talk to each other about our lists before the meeting), but the things I love were much easier to come up with than the things that drive me crazy. And they also help put the “crazy” in perspective. If this list contains my biggest concerns, then we have very little to worry about.
Though, I suppose I’ll withhold judgment until I see what BNF has to say. I can already think of a few things I do that drive him nuts.
All part of my charm, I’m sure.
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