The second semester of my senior year in college, I was a nanny. I spent my mornings before class driving to the family’s home, cooking breakfast for the three kids (and fixing a bottle for the then six-week old), packing lunches, and just keeping general order while Dr. Dad rushed off to work, and mom, DG, made herself presentable to drive two of the kids to school.
One morning, I was downstairs fixing scrambled eggs, while DG was upstairs getting ready. I had two kids at the table and the baby in his bouncy chair. The older little girl, about six years old at this point, was in the bathroom just down the hall when I heard her call out to me. (Please keep in mind that sound carried *extremely* well in this house. You could have a (shouting) conversation from practically any two rooms.)
“Liebchen! Is your vagina hairy?“
Now listen. I consider myself a pretty stellar babysitter, armed for most any occasion. But this left me speechless – even more so when I saw Ben (then eight years old) and Brooke (then five) staring at me from the breakfast table, wondering how I was going to respond.
“Sophie, I don’t think that’s an appropriate question for right now,” I called back. (By the way, if you’re not familiar, there’s nothing like having a shouting conversation about your vagina over breakfast. It really sets the tone for the day.)
And just as I think I have this situation under control, DG shouts down from upstairs: “Liebchen – what did she ask?” Ah shit. I explained the conversation as tactfully as possible and DG came into the kitchen saying, “Oh, well, she’s just young and curious.” That’s fine. It’s only natural. If you knew how many times I asked…no, wait, sorry. Let’s get back on track.
When I got back to campus, I relayed the story to some of my girlfriends. When I repeated Sophie’s initial question, Cla asked, “Well, did you tell her it isn’t?” referring to my Brazilian habit. I couldn’t help but laugh. Yeah, that’s really a conversation I want to have with a six-year-old. So she can repeat it to her mother. My employer. Awesome.
As if starting my day off with vagina talk wasn’t “interesting” enough, when I went back to the house that evening, there was another surprise twist. DG greeted me with, “Liebchen, I thought your conversation with Sophie this morning was so funny I just had to tell Dr. Dad. He thought it was hilarious.” Oh good. I’m so glad you and your husband talked about my vagina. That won’t make me feel awkward at all when I see h- “Oh, hey Dr. Dad. How was your day?”
Mine was super.
*Just for the record, I did not search for ANY photos to go with this post. I wasn’t quite sure of what I’d find – or if I’d want to find it.