Archive for February 2nd, 2009

Back in November, right before Thanksgiving, I officially changed my license from Pennsylvania to DC. It involved two trips to the DMV, being told that “[DMV procedures] have been different since 9/11,” and being congratulated on getting my license for the first time. Sorry sweetheart, you’re seven years too late.

And the end result? After finally bringing in the right document and assuring several people that I’ve actually been driving for years? It’s like the lady working the camera used a super zoom when taking my picture. I’ve never totally loved my license photos in the past, but at least in Pennsylvania it was far enough away (showing head and shoulders) that I didn’t really worry about it. When I showed my new license to my family, and mentioned the multiple chins that had suddenly shown up, they all chimed in with, “It’s not bad. Yeah, it’s a close-up, but it’s obviously a close-up. You don’t have five chins.” And since then, I haven’t worried about it.

See? No super zoom on McLovin. Must be a DC thing. Or the camera lady hated me.

See? No super zoom on McLovin. Must be a DC thing. Or the camera lady hated me.

Enter this weekend.

I went to Borders to get a GRE study book, so that I’ll finally kickstart this whole going back to school thing. I had to use all my self-control to focus solely on the test prep section and NOT spend more money than necessary, but I got my book, made a beeline for the check out, and stepped right up to the counter.

After asking to see my ID, the cashier looks at it, looks up at me, and says, “Wow! Have you lost weight?

I know. Usually a nice thing to hear. But NOT when you’ve just gotten over being self-conscious about the picture; NOT when your weight is actually printed on the license (I hate you, D.C.); and NOT when you know that you actually weigh a little more than you did when the picture was taken.

I kind of smiled and did my I’m-gonna-laugh-so-I-don’t-have-to-answer-you thing, and figured that was that. He, however, must have been starved for conversation because he continued: “[looking at my book] You’re studying hard for the GREs? You must be studying so hard that you’re starving yourself! You have lost weight!

Why are you still talking?

Thinking: Why are you still talking?

Just learn to quit, buddy. Please. Learn to quit.

*That was my mother’s response when I told her about the encounter.

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