About three months ago, I opened a Macy’s account. I shouldn’t have done it. I knew that no good could come of yet another credit card. But I did it anyway. Because the bag I wanted (and would get a discount on if I opened the account)? Well, it’s fantastic.
The customer service at Macy’s (over the phone), however? Not so much.
I called to activate my card, jumped through hoops in the automated system, and finally spoke with a real live person. They proceeded to ask me a series of security questions – not that I had given in setting up my account, but that they had pulled from public record. And I failed. Because I didn’t recognize the address of the house that I was born in.
Let me be clear – it’s a little known fact, that while I’m a Philly girl through and through, I was actually born across the bridge. That’s right. I was born, and lived for six short months, in New Jersey. I know the name of the town (Glendora), but that’s about it. So I failed to recognize the actual street address that was home for my first 180 days. Shame on me.
I complained to a manager, went on vacation, and mostly forgot about it. Until last night when I called again, after receiving a letter in the mail about activation.
Liebchen: I was told to call here because I had issues activating my card last time. I was asked security questions that I just wouldn’t have known. [explanation of the whole, moving-before-I-even-turned-a-year-old thing]
Macy’s Idiot: All right. Let’s see what we can do. I’m going to ask you a series of security questions. In which county is [this] address: Baltimore, [somewhere in Georgia], Lancaster, Loudon or I’ve never been associated with this address.
MI: Okay. In which county were you born: Camden, NJ, [two counties in Georgia that I’ve seriously never heard of] or Hudson, NJ.
Liebchen: Listen, I explained to you before the problem that I had with the last security questions. I can tell you the town I was born in, but I DO NOT KNOW the county. This is absurd. It’s obviously either Camden or Hudson, but I don’t know where Hudson is.
MI: Do you just want to pick one?
Liebchen: Fine. Camden.
MI: Okay, let’s go with that. Now, which county is 535 Rowand Avenue located in? Is it Camden, [b], [c], or [d].
Side note: I stopped listening to the responses because I was so pissed at this point. I explained to him that the *only* reason I recognized the address is because it had come up in the last set of security questions, a month ago, and I’d talked to my mom about it. And *she* knew that the address was the house in which I lived my first six months. But that there was really no way that I would have known it on my own. This is an explanation that I’ve now repeated at least five times.
Liebchen: Listen, if the previous answer was Camden, then this answer is Camden. If it’s not, then I don’t know what to tell you because I would never use these as my security questions in the first place, because I DON’T KNOW. This whole thing is ridiculous.
MI: So you wanna go with Camden? [beat] Congratulations! You passed!
Un.be.liev.able. And what’s my prize now? Getting to use my Macy’s card. But, to be honest, I don’t want to.
Because if something goes wrong, and I have to deal with customer service again, I might just go crazy. And there’s nothing at Macy’s that’s worth my sanity.