I have this one particular flaw that sometimes gets me into trouble. Or at least causes issues.
Here’s what happens: I let some innocuous comment get under my skin. I let it sit and marinate until I’ve imagined an entire scenario based around this one remark – a remark that the person who said it usually doesn’t even remember. I’ve been known to let it stew for days.
But do I say anything? Give any heads up that I might be a little peeved, even if it’s not entirely justified?
No, that would be too easy.
I get aggressive. Or passive-aggressive. Snippy, snarky, bratty – depends on the situation. But the long and short of it is that I usually (usually) end up getting mad over something that I’ve fabricated in my own mind! I know – it’s absurd. And it sounds even dumber when I type it out like this.
On the semi-plus side (if you can call it that), those closest to me know that I do this. They know that I have a little touch of the crazy and an overactive imagination when it comes to certain issues. They often call me out and (usually) love me anyway.
But I know that doesn’t make it all right on my end. Not even close. There has got to be a way to keep the crazy at bay. Because, more often than not, it has very little to do with the other person, and nearly everything to do with my own insecurities and perceptions.
My hope, in writing and acknowledging this, is that I’ll be able to do a better job of not letting my imagination run wild. Or maybe I can just start by saying something right off the bat, before the comment has any time to morph into a Big Deal.
Whatever the solution may be, I refuse to let the crazy win.