Friday evening we were out with friends in Adams Morgan, just having drinks and a general good time. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Until she joined our group.
A couple of the guys had met her outside the bar, found her entertaining, and invited her inside for a drink. Harmless. And she was friendly enough. She spent most of the night talking to J and Sergio, but during a break in conversation, she sidled up to me and sat on the adjacent stool. She then leaned in, as though she had something super important to ask me, and I assumed she’d be asking me about the guys. But no.
“I just have to tell you,” she said, “I have this huge desire to put elf ears on you. I think you’d look really great in them.“
Is there a proper response to that? I looked around, wishing someone else had heard it, and kind of laughed awkwardly. And she continued.
“I just think you have such a cute face for it, and it would be so perfect! You should really think about it.“
I laughed again, and made another awkward comment about whether or not I could take that as a compliment.
“You should! I’m a child of Tolkien,” she replied, “It’s totally a compliment! Just think about it for a costume some time.“
And all throughout her comments she kept motioning to both her ears and mine, trying to demonstrate just how she thought the elf ears should be shaped or how high they should be.
Now, I know Adams Morgan attracts some oddballs, but this is the first time I’ve ever been approached about my ears.
And honestly, I hope it’s also the last.