Recently I’ve been wondering where the time has gone.
There were times when it felt like it was taking forever to get pregnant in the first place.
And then, once we found out we were, that first trimester of not making it public seemed to drag on and on. How do you sit on a secret that big?
Then I hit the second trimester, regained some energy, started showing, and found out that the little tumbler inside my belly is a boy. Everything became a little more real, and even more exciting.
But now we have about 11 weeks left, and I’ve entered the freak-out stage.
I’m still excited, don’t get me wrong, but I’m also keenly aware that I will have a human coming out of my body just a little bit later this year. And I (and Husband) will be responsible for his life.
And, as I said to a friend who has two beautiful little girls, despite all my confidence and experience caring for other people’s children, all of a sudden I’m terrified that I’ll do it wrong with my own.
She assured me that babies are tough to mess up, and that parenting is a process, but still I worry.
- I worry about breastfeeding (especially after reading this article).
- I worry about having the “right” bottles or diapers or swaddling blankets – none of which I can test out before he gets here.
- I worry about knowing how to take care of him and making sure we get him to all the appropriate check-ups and appointments.
- I worry about becoming so sleep-deprived that I can’t focus on conversations, or so consumed that I can’t talk about anything else (kind of like I’m doing now).
I worry about many, many things, and then I worry about more.
But at the end of the conversation, Mom-friend said this:
You just have to come to terms with the fact that something is going to have to give. Your house might not be clean, you might not have clean underwear, and you might have stale bread – but you will have a happy home filled with people you love and so the rest doesn’t matter.
So, for the next 11 weeks, I will attempt to commit that to memory, and try to breathe and stay calm.
And I will also buy extra underwear. Just in case.