Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for March, 2014

I wish I had recorded this phone conversation and could share it that way, but this is the next best thing. It’s not exactly word-for-word, but it’s pretty damn close.

It all started with me updating my mom on our baby preparation.

Me: And we have an appointment tomorrow to get the car seat inspected.

Mama: You have to get it inspected? Why?

Me: You don’t have to, but to make sure it’s installed right. Make sure it’s not too loose, all of that.

Mama: We never got our car seats inspected. They just trusted we knew how to do it. And you only fell out once.

Me: What? When?

Mama: I don’t know. I was in a hurry. Maybe I didn’t buckle you in right, or maybe the seat was loose. But I noticed eventually when you were on the floor in the backseat.

Me: Oh, good. Was this when you hit the guardrail?

Mama: No, that was a different time. You didn’t fall out then.

***at another point in the conversation***

Me: And we got a mirror so we can see what’s going on with him when he’s in the car seat.

Mama: That’s what the rearview mirror is for.

Me: Yes, but that doesn’t work when they’re rear-facing.

Mama: What?! They’re rear-facing? Since when? And why? How am I supposed to notice when you’re eating pennies or sticking them up your nose?

Me: That’s what the backseat mirror is for!

***and later on, referencing the permanent bump on my head***

Mama: I know when you got that bump.

Me: You told me you weren’t sure.

Mama: Well, it could have been any number of times. You did a lot of face plants, and none of them had to do with a car seat being too loose.

Me: Not even when I fell out?

Mama: You didn’t fall on your head that time.

Me: On that note, I know you have baby gates, so how is it possible that I went down the stairs in my walker? (one of my many face plants)

Mama: I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t put the gate up. Maybe I thought you couldn’t reach it. Or maybe you moved it.

Me: So you underestimated me?

Mama: Constantly.

So I’ve fallen out of my un-inspected, forward-facing car seat, presumably stuck pennies up my nose, done multiple face plants, and removed baby gates from my path. And I’m fine.

I can’t say that I wish these things for my son, but at least I know that he’ll survive.

And we’re still getting the seat inspected.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Buzzfeed has now managed to create a quiz for everything.

Not only can you find out what city you’re supposed to live in or what career path you should follow (that quiz was actually more helpful than my high school guidance counselor), but you can also find out what characters you are – everything from Scandal to Biblical heroines.

abigail

I got Abigail. Who I’ve hardly heard of.

And, on an even more timely note, there’s also a quiz to tell you what you should give up for Lent. Because these kinds of decisions are just so hard to make on your own.

I’m a sucker for quizzes and gross generalizations, but even I think that maybe Buzzfeed is going a little bit too far.

That said, I took the Lent quiz (because once again I’ve left my Lenten decision until the last minute) and discovered that Buzzfeed thinks I should give up television.

According to the quiz:

No one pops more culture than you. You’re a trendsetter when it comes to taste, but this Lent is an awesome opportunity to open up to some new challenges. Turn off the telly and put yourself out there!

Let me stop you right there. This result is about as wrong as when you told me I was Olivia Pope. (I wish.)

Olivia-Pope

As if I could wear that much white and not spill on it

I don’t think trendsetters go to bed at 9pm or spend their weekends at home, in the suburbs, reading Jack Reacher novels. (For that matter, neither does Olivia Pope.)

And all this culture that I’m popping – does that include watching Jeopardy and NCIS? Because, if that’s the case, maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m a pop culture maven.

It’s far more likely, though, that these quiz results are skewed – or just not very scientific in the first place. Shocking, I know, but I’m not sure how my favorite fruit is going to predict what I should give up for 40 days.

Which means that, once again, I have to make this decision on my own. And, once again, I will likely vote to give up nothing.

My Lent give-ups have run the gamut in the past, from TV to gossiping to cursing to chocolate to diet coke to alcohol. The diet coke ban has become permanent, the alcohol has been on hold for the past 8 months, and, at the risk of perpetuating a stereotype, don’t even think about taking away my chocolate when I’m four weeks out from having a baby.

So this year, like last year, I will focus on giving. Obviously, I won’t be going to Nepal again, but I will focus on the activities that I’m already involved in – giving my time and my attention and support to causes that I love.

That’s not to say I’ll never give up something tangible again. And there might come a time that I need a hiatus from TV. But for right now, this focus on giving is the best way for me to celebrate the season.

Take that, Buzzfeed.

Read Full Post »