This list has been in draft form for quite some time now as I periodically add to it. But at some point you just have to share and pray that you’re not the only one spouting sentences that you never anticipated.
Things such as…
“Is that oatmeal or a booger?”
“We don’t kiss with teeth.”
“Please don’t touch the toilet while Mama’s peeing!”
“We don’t color on our diaper.”
“Get your hands out of the poop!”
“Is there a [lion, monkey, elephant] in the car?”
“Manny [the dog] doesn’t have to dance if he doesn’t want to.”
“Please get the [toddler] knife out of Mama’s face.”
“Why are there sunglasses on your penis?”
“Show me how you wash your armpits.”
In fairness, I’m sure I could have expected some of these. But the sunglasses one…I didn’t see that coming.