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Posts Tagged ‘apparently i still have some weight issues’

When I first saw the beginning of the following commercial, I thought for sure that it would be for a legitimate weight-loss program:

But I’ll see your popular girls, Geico, and raise you one El Jefe.

Earlier in the year I ran into El Jefe at the gym, while I was panting away on the stairmaster. He came over to say hi, and essentially asked why I was torturing myself.

Just getting wedding-ready!” I gasped out.

That was January.

Yesterday we had a baby shower for one of the women in my office. The theme was cupcakes, and the theme was plentiful. Naturally, I grabbed a delightful looking raspberry one. And as I was about to indulge, El Jefe walked by.

Remember you have to fit into your wedding dress!” he stage-whispered.

Unlike the Geico man, there was no way I was giving up that cupcake, so I just laughed it off and waited until I was out of El Jefe’s line of sight before stuffing my face.

I told myself that he didn’t actually mean anything by it (he didn’t); he just thought he was being funny (dad humor).

But apparently he thinks this is our little joke now, because he had a follow up this morning regarding some Krispy Kremes someone had brought into the office. (Joke’s on you, El Jefe, I’m a Dunkin’ Donuts kind of girl!)

I can only hope that his interest in my wedding prep wanes quickly.

Four more months of weight comments by El Jefe is enough to give any girl a complex.

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To say that I struggle with my weight would be an understatement.

In addition to changing my diet and exercising, I have tried countless diet pills, juices, and fads over the years. In fact, the first time I lied about my age wasn’t to get into an R-rated movie, impress a boy, or buy cigarettes; it was to buy diet pills at GNC.

About six years ago I decided that the best way to diet was to simply count calories, eat healthy, and go to the gym every day. And it worked. In the course of a summer I lost about 15 pounds.

And I was living off roughly 1000 calories a day.

At the time, I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. I was thrilled that the weight was coming off like that! And I reveled in the days that I made it all 24 hours on less than 1000 calories. It became a game.

A very dangerous game.

I should have known that it wasn’t sustainable. That summer I was living at home, not going out much (if at all), and working more than 40 hours a week.

I had no life, but by god I was skinny!

And then it all went to shit when I re-entered the real world by studying abroad and going back to college. The pounds came creeping back on and I became more and more frustrated, and more and more restrictive with my diet – an unfortunate method that has had lasting effects.

Not only had I severely slowed my metabolism, according to the nutritionist I was instructed to see, but my entire view of food was warped. I’d eat the occasional cheese fries (because my self-control was also shot), but I’d constantly be thinking about what I couldn’t have because of that indulgence. Or how many miles I’d have to do to balance it out. I thought of foods as expensive (lots of calories) and cheap (not so many), and it was exhausting.

I’ve been dieting for 6+ years without ever again seeing the number on the scale that I saw that first summer. And it made me feel like I was failing.

Until now.

Because now, at the risk of sounding like a commercial, I’m on Weight Watchers. BNF and I have been doing it for the past month (inspiration: less than five months ’til the wedding!) and we’re actually seeing noticeable results. The difference between these results, though, and the ones from six years ago is that I don’t feel like I’m punishing myself this time around.

I’m not so much restricting what I eat; I’m just making better choices. As a calorie-counter, I would have limited the fruit I ate during the day because it adds up. As a points-counter, I’ve been snacking on fruit and veggies so much that the amount we buy never makes it through the week. That’s a good problem to have.

I’m finally happy with this method, and I haven’t really been able to say that since I started my dieting career.

While part of that happiness is spurred by the number on the scale, I ultimately just feel better in my own skin.

And that never happened with the calorie-counting.

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Back in November, right before Thanksgiving, I officially changed my license from Pennsylvania to DC. It involved two trips to the DMV, being told that “[DMV procedures] have been different since 9/11,” and being congratulated on getting my license for the first time. Sorry sweetheart, you’re seven years too late.

And the end result? After finally bringing in the right document and assuring several people that I’ve actually been driving for years? It’s like the lady working the camera used a super zoom when taking my picture. I’ve never totally loved my license photos in the past, but at least in Pennsylvania it was far enough away (showing head and shoulders) that I didn’t really worry about it. When I showed my new license to my family, and mentioned the multiple chins that had suddenly shown up, they all chimed in with, “It’s not bad. Yeah, it’s a close-up, but it’s obviously a close-up. You don’t have five chins.” And since then, I haven’t worried about it.

See? No super zoom on McLovin. Must be a DC thing. Or the camera lady hated me.

See? No super zoom on McLovin. Must be a DC thing. Or the camera lady hated me.

Enter this weekend.

I went to Borders to get a GRE study book, so that I’ll finally kickstart this whole going back to school thing. I had to use all my self-control to focus solely on the test prep section and NOT spend more money than necessary, but I got my book, made a beeline for the check out, and stepped right up to the counter.

After asking to see my ID, the cashier looks at it, looks up at me, and says, “Wow! Have you lost weight?

I know. Usually a nice thing to hear. But NOT when you’ve just gotten over being self-conscious about the picture; NOT when your weight is actually printed on the license (I hate you, D.C.); and NOT when you know that you actually weigh a little more than you did when the picture was taken.

I kind of smiled and did my I’m-gonna-laugh-so-I-don’t-have-to-answer-you thing, and figured that was that. He, however, must have been starved for conversation because he continued: “[looking at my book] You’re studying hard for the GREs? You must be studying so hard that you’re starving yourself! You have lost weight!

Why are you still talking?

Thinking: Why are you still talking?

Just learn to quit, buddy. Please. Learn to quit.

*That was my mother’s response when I told her about the encounter.

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