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Posts Tagged ‘nerd alert’

I’ve long held the belief that running a marathon is similar to giving birth. And soon enough, I’ll be able to test that theory.

The nerd in me is thrilled.

(You know, in addition to being thrilled about finally meeting my son.)

So far, I can only speak for marathons, but my hypothesis is that the following apply to both scenarios:

  • You prepare for months ahead of time, but when it comes down to race/birth day, it’s all just a crapshoot, dependent on the amount and quality of sleep you got, the weather, your previous meal, the encouraging signs, etc.
  • You push your body to its limits, make it go through a certain amount of pain and agony, and come out with a prize on the other end.
  • There may be blood, chafing, or other bruises.
  • You can’t walk normally for the next few days and yet, when you decide to do it again, you conveniently forget that part.

When I went through my Marathon Maniac phase, I remember finishing the Chicago Marathon, collapsing, and thinking, How the hell am I going to do this again in 3 weeks?

But I did. (And then I did it again.) Because the body is an amazing machine. And somehow, in three weeks, the pain was nothing compared with the adrenaline of crossing the finish line and achieving my goals.

I don’t know what birth is going to be like. Or rather, I don’t know what it’ll be like for me.

I very much doubt that I’ll be willing to do it all over again in just three weeks – never mind the fact that that’s not even possible. But I imagine that, given some time, I’ll forget the pain and only remember the wonder of bringing a little human into the world.

I mean, it’s got to work that way, otherwise there wouldn’t be any younger siblings, right?

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I’ll be honest. I love finding mistakes. I look for them in just about anything I read.

But there’s an extra thrill in finding one like this in a declassified memo to the president. It actually made me read the rest of the memos in the batch a little more carefully.

And yes, I found more mistakes. The dork in me was thrilled.

Maybe if this conflict resolution degree doesn’t work out there’ll be an editing job for me in the White House.

It’s worth a shot.

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And, as promised, the final Mad Libs versions. (See the first ones here.)

From Heather C:

A week from tomorrow, I’ll be attending my first of 16 races this season. This one, fully, will be in the parking lot, so I’ll quickly be taking advantage of the octagon while we’re there. I mean, who couldn’t use a little shoe and mug, right?

Aside from that, though, this race is for my Muffin’s best friend, so I know how smooth it is to him. And I know how excited and nervous he is to give his swingset. (I also think he’s secretly sad, that the couple’s duck, Nora, will be missing the festivities.)

I don’t reluctantly like when the colonial era fly by, but this time I’d be okay with it. Because that just puts us closer to running, typing, and educating in the parking lot. I can’t think of a better way to usher in May.

From inkpuddle:

A week from tomorrow, I’ll be attending my first of 23 funerals this season. This one, clumsily, will be in France, so I’ll heavily be taking advantage of the underwear while we’re there. I mean, who couldn’t use a little cheese and truck, right?

Aside from that, though, this funeral is for my Pookie’s best friend, so I know how squishy it is to him. And I know how excited and nervous he is to give his pillow case. (I also think he’s secretly sad, that the couple’s hamster, Orlando, will be missing the festivities.)

I don’t bravely like when the three years fly by, but this time I’d be okay with it. Because that just puts us closer to grabbing, yodeling, and jumping in France. I can’t think of a better way to usher in May.

And last, but not least, from Alice:

A week from tomorrow, I’ll be attending my first of 2/3 pie-eating contests this season. This one, grimly, will be in a port-a-potty, so I’ll languidly be taking advantage of the thumb drive while we’re there. I mean, who couldn’t use a little stomach and diamond earring, right?

Aside from that, though, this pie-eating contest is for my Snuggie Wuggums’ best friend, so I know how sparkly it is to him. And I know how excited and nervous he is to give his unicorn. (I also think he’s secretly sad, that the couple’s marmoset, Euclid, will be missing the festivities.)

I don’t wetly like when the Elizabethan era fly by, but this time I’d be okay with it. Because that just puts us closer to fainting, dueling, and drooping in a port-a-potty. I can’t think of a better way to usher in May.

Again, thank you guys for playing. I laughed out loud as I was filling some of these in. (I also gagged a little bit at the idea of a pie-eating contest in a port-a-potty, so, there’s that.) Hope you’re off to a good start for the week!

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You remember playing the game Mad Libs? Filling in the nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. and trying to make the story as ridiculous as possible? It was one time when you didn’t have to make sense. In fact, it was more fun when you didn’t.

For most people.

As you may have guessed, I always liked my stories to be coherent. I would try to guess where it was heading and choose my words accordingly. I know, I know. Barrels of fun, right over here.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I received the official invitation to my friend Gaff’s wedding. And the RSVP was in Mad Libs form! For instance, “ your names will be verb to join Gaff and Soon-to-be-Hubby as they verb down the aisle. When we verb, past tense the invitation…” and so on and so forth. I was torn between wanting to be creative, and wanting it to make sense. Which is why it took me nearly two weeks to fill it out and send it back. Sorry Gaff!

But it did inspire me. Maybe some of you aren’t as, oh, I don’t know, “control freak” as I am. Maybe you like to shake things up a bit. Maybe you don’t mind when your stories vary from the predicted path. So let’s try it together. You give me the words to fill out my mini-story, and I’ll post it tomorrow – with as many versions as you’ve given me.

Here’s what we need:

– number

– event

– adverb

– place

– adverb

– noun

– noun

– noun

– pet name (as though for a significant other)

– adjective

– noun

– animal

– name

– adverb

– period of time

– verb ending in -ing

– verb ending in -ing

– verb ending in -ing

Do it, to it! I can’t wait to see how it turns out…

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About a month ago, when I had the unfortunate leaky apartment and I asked you guys to help me find the bright side, some of you mentioned taking the opportunity to rearrange and maximize my space, organize, and whatnot. And so I did. Not only did I rearrange, but I’ve been ordering new pieces from Target left and right. The perk of the delivery option is, obviously, that I don’t have to lug the furniture from the store to my home. However, I still have get it from the lobby to the seventh floor. Thank god for elevators and dollies.

But, when the last piece arrived just the other day and the dolly was already signed out, I figured I’d waddle it upstairs on my own. Yes, waddle. I bought a bookcase that comes up to my shoulders and is about two feet wide. There’s really no graceful way to carry it down the hall.

The perk about it being so tall, though, was that I had no trouble seeing this safety sign printed on the top:

Let’s discuss.

  1. TEAM LIFT (and the rest of the message) suggests that I shouldn’t have been lifting this on my own. And yet, somehow I managed. Either Target severely underestimates its employees or I really am Wonder Woman.
  2. The typos. Ohhhhh, the typos. My inner geek was (not so) secretly thrilled and overwhelmed at seeing so many in one place. Not only do we have a couple extra letters in “either” (“edither”) and “bulky” (“bullky”), but apparently they’re talking about handling safety, itself, as opposed to safely handling something. Now I don’t know what I’m doing.

And the bonus? There was another sign on the edge of the box:

I’m going to assume that “complint” means “compliant,” but where does formaldehyde come in for a bookcase? I hear that word and think of the biology lesson where everyone tried to get out of dissecting the frog. And last time I checked, I didn’t see any frogs in the packaging.

Maybe there’s a follow up delivery?

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Bing?

I have seen this commercial at least five times in the past 24 hours. At least.

And the first time I saw it, I had absolutely no idea what was going on. (But I was loving the Eddie Money reference.) I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what the ad was for – if anything. In fact, my first (nerd) thought was if this was some sort of bizarre word association game. Admittedly, though, by the end of the commercial, I was agreeing with the premise.

I am on search overload!

This may just be my own personal ADD, but when I start typing something into Google, I often occasionally once in a while get distracted by what else pops up. For instance, if I have a “why” question (that can only be answered by Google – obviously), I get “why do men have nipples” and at least three variations of “why did Chris Brown beat up Rihanna.” The word “how” yields “how to kiss,” “how to get pregnant,” and “how stuff works” – all in a row. Coincidence? I think not.

So I checked out Bing. And…well, I couldn’t tell a difference.

Oh wait, that’s not true: instead of “why do men have nipples” Bing gave me “why did I get married.

Sounds like Bing is having some regrets already.

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