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Posts Tagged ‘pick-up lines’

Well, overall, I would say that the blogger happy hour was a success. Fun people, cheap drinks, tasty fries and then there were the beads! I’m a sucker for beads. Sadly, I did not hear the pick-up line I was hoping to, but apparently, What’s your URL?, was used on occasion, instead. Ooh, baby.

Some guys? Not a lot of game.

Others? They’ve got more confidence and, sometimes imagined, suaveness (is that a word?) than any one person should have.

It’s just too bad that those guys are still in junior high.

Now stop. I’m not a creeper. That camp I was just at? That was a junior high camp that I’ve been working at for the past 10 years. And I’m pretty sure that every year, the kids just get bolder and bolder. This year was pretty tame, meaning that there were only two eighth graders who hit on me throughout the week. They did, however, “autograph” my notebook, after telling me they’d win the week’s tournaments. And addressed it to, “My favorite girl” and “My baby girl,” respectively. Be still my heart. (When did 14-year-olds start saying, “my baby girl,” anyway?)

In any case, I recently found a card that I got from some campers several years ago, that remains far and away the best example of middle school boy confidence that I could ever hope to share.

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Allow me to highlight a few stellar lines:

You are the sugar cane of my life you sweet thing.

If you did [cry] I’d collect your tears and sell them on e-bay. You have no idea how much a couple tears of angel are worth (to me).

I just want you to know that your legs go on for days.

Your eyes are like diamonds sparkling on a moonlit night.

Where do they get this stuff?

Now, do I actually want some guy at a bar to be that cheesy or to lay it on that thick? Of course not. But if three kids can be this creative and forward, with an older girl, no less, then I don’t ever want to hear that I’m intimidating again.

But if you call me the sugar cane of your life, I can’t promise I won’t laugh at you.

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Mini-confession time: I absolutely love pick-up lines. I love the terribly cheesy, laugh-out-loud, there’s-no-way-you-can-take-it-seriously kind of lines (which, on occasion, turn into the I-can’t-believe-I-fell-for-that lines…oops). I’ve heard some “good” ones, myself, but also consulted outside experts (aka, my girl friends) to see what’s really being said. We came up with some gems:

(Note: I don’t recommend any of these and cannot vouch for their effectiveness, but they have been used.)

Guy: Is your shirt felt?

Girl: No.

Guy: (rubs the girl’s sleeve) Well now it is.

Wanna come upstairs and play video games?

(at a frat house) I have Smirnoff Ice in my room if you want some.

Guy: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Girl: No, how much?

Guy: I don’t know, but enough to break the ice!

Hi, I play lacrosse.

Wanna go to my room and play Trivial Pursuit? (To be fair, really anything that starts with “Wanna go upstairs/to my place/back to Fort Myer…” is of the same ilk.)

And, my old personal favorite:

(whispered in my ear, like a secret) Girl, going out with me is like going out in the rain – you’re bound to get wet.

Well, damn.

But yes, I said old personal favorite, which would imply that there’s a new favorite line in town:

I can only hope that someone, anyone, uses this at the Blogger Happy Hour tonight.

Major points for making me laugh.

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