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Posts Tagged ‘what common sense?’

When I first saw the beginning of the following commercial, I thought for sure that it would be for a legitimate weight-loss program:

But I’ll see your popular girls, Geico, and raise you one El Jefe.

Earlier in the year I ran into El Jefe at the gym, while I was panting away on the stairmaster. He came over to say hi, and essentially asked why I was torturing myself.

Just getting wedding-ready!” I gasped out.

That was January.

Yesterday we had a baby shower for one of the women in my office. The theme was cupcakes, and the theme was plentiful. Naturally, I grabbed a delightful looking raspberry one. And as I was about to indulge, El Jefe walked by.

Remember you have to fit into your wedding dress!” he stage-whispered.

Unlike the Geico man, there was no way I was giving up that cupcake, so I just laughed it off and waited until I was out of El Jefe’s line of sight before stuffing my face.

I told myself that he didn’t actually mean anything by it (he didn’t); he just thought he was being funny (dad humor).

But apparently he thinks this is our little joke now, because he had a follow up this morning regarding some Krispy Kremes someone had brought into the office. (Joke’s on you, El Jefe, I’m a Dunkin’ Donuts kind of girl!)

I can only hope that his interest in my wedding prep wanes quickly.

Four more months of weight comments by El Jefe is enough to give any girl a complex.

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Leading up to Sunday, I told myself that Philly should be a fun marathon. No pressure. I’d already PR’ed twice, and I really just wanted to enjoy the run. That was my intention.

Photo Credit: Mama

But then, around miles 8 through 10, I realized that I was keeping a fairly steady average pace of just under 10:00. And I started wondering if I could keep that up for the entire race.

Photo Credit: Mama

The short answer is no. I couldn’t. I kept it up until about miles 20 to 21, and then I hit the wall. The weather was great; the course was beautiful (albeit, hilly); the spectators were loud; and the signs were creative. But my body knew that it was almost done for the year and it decided that it wanted to be done NOW.

So I pushed. I talked to myself. I sang out loud a little bit. I promised my body that we’d be done in just a few more songs.

Around mile 24, I wanted to cry, because every inch of my body was in pain, but I couldn’t. There was simply no moisture left.

Around mile 25, I turned off my music and let myself be propelled by the cheering.

And as I crossed the finish line, I acknowledged that the pushing was worth it, as I saw my third PR in three attempts.

Official time: 4:26:34

Once I’d finished my bottle of water, I did cry. But they were very happy, very exhausted, very proud, and very relieved (that I don’t have to do this again for a long time) tears.

Philly’s tag line was “Best:Time of Your Life.” And it was.

Literally.

Photo Credit: Harry

*Before the race started, BNF saw a guy with a sign that said, “On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 13.1.” As the sign guy saw him appreciate it and saw BNF’s marathon bib, he told him, “You’re a 26.2!”

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In packing up my apartment and throwing things out, I’ve come across papers and notes and memories that I hadn’t thought about in ages. One such note came from Cla, right before we graduated from college. We didn’t yet know that we’d both end up in DC, so she decided to leave me with a few words of wisdom.

You see, I’m not a particularly fashion savvy person. I can pull an outfit together, but I’m not always up on the current trends. And I’ve been known to keep an item of clothing for far too long, just because it kind of fits, or doesn’t have too many holes.

During school, I would often consult Clara on outfit choice, color schemes, and all around flattering-ness. So when her words of wisdom turned out to be sage fashion advice, I wasn’t at all surprised, and was honestly a little grateful.

Upon re-reading the list, I realized that many of the tips are common sense, and many I already knew, but that doesn’t make them any less true.

Sorry guys...

A sampling:

1) Denim and denim is NEVER acceptable.

3) An expensive pair of shades or a handbag is an excellent accent to any outfit.

4) Note: Target is a good source for basics.

5) A pair of jeans that look fabulous on YOU will never go out of style.

10) Jewelry – often less is more, unless you’re going to an 80s themed party.

11) Fancy flip-flops are a must for summer.

15) The distance is never too far for shopping at outlet stores.

17) Wear polos sparingly and be careful of their fit; they can make one’s torso look shorter.

18) Certain t-shirts should really only be worn to the gym.

19) Just because it’s in style doesn’t mean it works for you.

20) Be wary of princess waist shirts – if they’re cheaply made the way they fall can make anyone look preggers.

Like I said, a lot of common sense, but also good advice. And a pretty good litmus test for whether or not I should actually keep some of the things currently populating my wardrobe.

Plus, the more I throw out, the more I can justify a trip to the outlets, right? Isn’t that how this works?

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Imagine that you’re walking along one night (or running, as the case may be), and you’re approaching a pretty busy intersection. There are street lights, of course, but it’s still pretty shadowy.

All of a sudden you hear a buzzing sound.

You also see a couple of 20-something guys crouching down on the corner, staring intently into the middle of the street. And then you see the remote control in their hands.

Then, only then, do you realize that they’re actually driving a remote control car. Up and down and across a dark street. A street that leads to an intersection. An intersection that remains busy, though it’s past 10pm by that point.

Am I the only one who thinks that’s not the smartest of ideas?

If I’d been running in the street (admittedly not a super bright idea), and that thing had startled me, there are no assurances that I wouldn’t have tripped and injured myself.

Graceful, I am not. (And I cannot afford any injuries with just three days left until Marine Corps.)

Also, once I ran by and realized what it was, I started imagining my reaction had I been driving. If I’d seen something dart in front of my car, I’d have thought it was an animal, and probably slammed on the brakes or swerved. Neither of which is ideal in traffic.

I actually got more annoyed the more I thought about it, and became even more convinced that it could be dangerous.

You might argue that I was overreacting a bit, and that I’ve got “fun police” stamped all over me. And you might be right.

But if I were really the fun police, I would have kicked the car as I ran by, upending it and ruining their game.

I think the fact that I didn’t shows great restraint.

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The setting: history class.

The discussion: why study history?

The players: in addition to the general class, there’s the Smug Just Graduated Undergrad and Think I Know Everything guy, and there’s Professor K. Who, by the by, looks like this:

Anywho, the conversation:

SmugJGU: Is it even relevant to study history anymore? And if it is, how do you get more people to want to do it? It’s BORING on the middle school and high school levels, and most teachers don’t even care about it! In fact, the same guy that’s teaching you history is probably just a high school football coach. [turns to the professor, who just finished his history dissertation, by the way, and has told us about it] How do we get history to be interesting?

Professor K: Well, this is my job – I clearly already think it’s interesting. [beat] I also coached high school football for a couple years, and taught history classes.

SmugJGU: Uh…

Good luck, buddy. That was only week two of class.

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The first time I saw the commercial, I thought it had to be a gag gift. (But then again, I thought the same thing about the Snuggie, and look how that turned out.) Seriously, though, a product that stops your dog from barking?

Am I the only one who finds something wrong with this? You chose to get a dog, didn’t you realize that barking is his way of expressing himself? Of telling you he’s hungry, has to pee, or alerting you to danger?

As much as you may want to, you wouldn’t buy a product that would render your children mute. The quiet game only works for so long. Presumably, you got a pet to be a member of the family. I’m not suggesting that he eat at the table, or get dibs on shotgun, but allowing him to speak? I think that’s okay.

And then there’s the one woman in the commercial who says, “I would take her for a walk and it was absolutely a trial of patience because she would bark at everything and everyone.” I’m sorry – what kind of animal did you think you were getting?! If she can’t bark during her walk, outside, where and when can she?

I’m still kind of hoping that this will turn out to be a joke, but I’m not optimistic.

That said, if you do buy one and your dog ends up peeing all over the house because he couldn’t bark to have you let him outside, well, I’ll be among the first to say I told you so.

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I love my mama. And I love how much I’ve turned out like her, from our mannerisms, to our tastes, to our tendency toward mockery. But there is one thing, one teeny tiny little thing, that I could have done without: her pack rat habits. (Sorry,  Mom.)

Now, it’s fine for her. The house I grew up in has closet space like crazy and a very roomy attic. If you want to hang on to something “just in case” it’s no problem! Stick it in a box, label it, and take it upstairs. Those old holiday decorations? Labeled and in the attic. The clothes that you haven’t worn in a while, but you might wear again? In boxes that are stacked in the back of the walk-in closet. Books that you’ve read once that you probably won’t read again, and you don’t have room for in any bookcase? In “organized” piles in your new office, aka your daughter’s old room.

Whatever it is, there’s room for it. Don’t even get me started on the back porch.

But for me? In a studio? Well, there’s really no room to be a pack rat. When I haven’t worn something in a while, it has to go. My closet space is precious and limited. Holiday knickknacks? Only if they’re small enough to store underneath my bed in the off season.

I’ve had to get better and better at cutting down, but there are still two things I have trouble with.

1) Books

I think this is understandable. I love to read and re-read. I don’t want to give away my books. I’d rather make the space for an extra bookcase, or take after my mom and have piles, than get rid of them.

2) Cards

I have this thing about holiday/birthday/just because cards. I love getting them, I love sending them. (I especially love the obnoxious singing ones.) And I have this overwhelming urge to save nearly every.single.one. It’s not that they take up much space, but what am I supposed to do with them? I have several decorating my cube at work.

I have more on my bulletin board home.

And even more in piles on my table/bookcase/dresser because they’re so cute and thoughtful that I feel like a jerk throwing them out.

There has to be a way to either a) stop being a pack rat (I’d need a step by step plan), or b) reuse/decorate/do SOMEthing with these cards.

I’m open to suggestions.

Anyone?

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