Posts Tagged ‘what if every guy wore baseball pants?’

I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but today is a very important day.

Today is the beginning of baseball season.

Now, I know that spring training has been going on for about a month now, and that’s been great. It would have been even greater if I’d managed to make it down to Clearwater to stalk see my players. But, that said, the regular season is just different.

Today starts the beginning of the 162 games that will determine whether your team is still playing through October, or whether they’re simply watching the games on TV.

It is not in my nature to be optimistic about my Phillies. That’s not to say that I don’t cheer for them, and cheer hard, because I do. You know this. (I’m also a big fan of tough love.) But I’m always just *cautiously* optimistic. Because it hurts so bad when you get your hopes up and fucking Cody Ross and Juan Uribe and some jerk they call Panda completely shatter your dreams.

But I digress.

This year it’s hard to not be a little optimistic – even with right-field feeling a little empty. Our pitching line-up is sick. There’s a reason that Phillies fans have been posting this photo all over the place:

(Sorry Blanton.)

Even the experts are on our side (for the most part). Of the ESPN season predictions by 45 analysts:

  • 42 put the Phillies in the post-season.
  • 27  have the Phillies becoming the National League Champions
  • 7 have picked the Phillies to win the World Series.

Now before you go telling me how that doesn’t mean anything, and it’s hard to predict how a season’s going to go, etc – save your breath. I know. But I also like knowing that there are people out there – experts – who have faith in my team’s ability. Because even when it hurts, I do, too.

I’ll be cheering the Phillies on when they visit DC in a couple weeks and my only wish is that they’d get here sooner.

Well, not my only wish. But some things are better left to the imagination.


I'll use any excuse to put this photo in a blog post.

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“I haven’t written about baseball in a while here. Frankly, it was due to the poor performance of the Phillies and my disappointment that such a great team could have let themselves fall to seven or more games out of first. Everyone kept saying, “it’s a long season,” and “you never know what will happen,” but it was depressing to get swept and hardly be able to score a single run. Yes, I take my team that personally.”

I found this little (slightly melodramatic) blurb in my drafts section from over a month ago. And I remember exactly how I was feeling as I was writing it. No, I hadn’t counted my Phillies out yet, but I was frustrated. The talent was there, but the scoreboard wasn’t showing it. It was literally affecting my mood. (Sad, I know.)

Fast forward to today, and what do you have?

National League East Champions. Again.

Plus a chance at finishing with the best record in baseball, which would just be icing on the cake.

And you know what goes great with cake? Champagne. The kind you get when you’re celebrating certain wins in October baseball.

You know, just throwing it out there.

I don’t want to jinx it, but with any luck, I’ll be seeing a lot more of this in the next few weeks:

But if I were really lucky, I’d actually be IN the locker room during that champagne celebration.


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Well, I’m back, and have left the Minnesota accent mostly behind me. (Though, it is still fun to drop a “don’tcha know” every now and again.) And I will have photos, videos, observations, and lessons learned from this most recent wedding up shortly, but first things first.

While I was away, I got an email from a friend, who knows me all too well, with this subject line:

There’s hope for you and Jayson Werth yet!

Talk about piquing my curiosity.

I haven’t been shy about my obsession crush on the Phillies right-fielder. He’s definitely the player I would most like to meet. And I may have entertained the fantasy of what it would be like if he actually did speak to me while I’m stalking watching batting practice. He’s also in my Top 5, so, you know, it’s allowed.

I'll use any excuse to put this photo in a blog post.

But anyway, the article that came along with the email went a little something like this:

Last May, Jason Phillips, the bullpen catcher for the Seattle Mariners, spotted a lovely lady in the stands. He felt like he had to make a move, so he wrote his name on a baseball and tossed it to her.

Unless you’re completely cynical, with a heart of stone, you have to admit that that’s pretty cute – if only slightly cheesy. But sometimes cheesy works.

So, when I got this email and read the article, I immediately showed the boyfriend. I also started thinking about where I’d have to sit in order to be visible from right field, and reminded the boyfriend that Werth was already on my list, so it had to be okay if he pulled a Jason Phillips. His response?

Well, of course. Every relationship has issues that they need to deal with. Some people can’t communicate, some people have a girlfriend who’s married to Jayson Werth. Plus, just think of all the games I’d get to go to!

Suffice it to say, he’s fully on board.

Now, the Phillies will be in town for two more series before the regular season is over, which, taking into account my schedule, as well, translates into 4 more chances to get a ball tossed my way.

And maybe even get to cross off the bonus on my 25 List.

At the very least, though, it’s 4 more chances to attempt take photos without my hands shaking. And that’s got to count for something.

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If you’ve been reading me for any amount of time, you know that I’m a HUGE Phillies fan. I love the sport; I love being at the games; I love the energy – especially when your team makes it to the World Series two years in a row after a seriously long drought.

And I do, of course, love some of the players, themselves. So, when I went to the Nats home opener on Monday where they were playing my Philadelphia Phillies, and we got there early enough to hang out behind the Phillies dugout and watch them warm up, well, I was in heaven.

And I may have done a little sly stalking observing, aided and abetted by the boyfriend (who had to hold the camera steady, since I was too excited). Though, judging by some of the photos, there was nothing sly about it.

Jayson Werth knew exactly what I was doing:

Jayson: Hey big guy, what’s shakin’? Yeah, I’m optimistic about our chances today.

Big guy: That’s great, but I have to ask: what finally convinced you to get rid of that beard?

Me: Omgomgomg. Do you see him? Can you get a good shot?

Jayson: Why does everyone keep talking about my beard?

Hey, is that girl looking at me?

Me: *turns away out of embarrassment*

Jayson: Dude, Shane, is that girl still staring at me?

Rauuuuul: Why didn’t you ask me?

Shane: Because you’re facing the wrong way. Duh. So which girl?

Jayson: The one in the Phillies shirt!

Shane: Dude – they’re all in Phillies shirts!

Jayson: No way. There’s one Nats fan. And there’s anoth- Well, there’s at least the one.

But seriously, is she still staring?

Jayson: Ah, what the hell. Might as well strike a pose.

Shane: Oh yeah, I see her now. The one with the camera pointed over here.

Me: *swoon*

Jayson: Ha, I’m totally gonna mess with her. Look at me running my hands through my long, flowing locks…

Ryan: Dude, you look like a douche. Put your hat back on.

Jayson: Psh. You’re just jealous that you don’t have a stalker.

Jayson: All right, enough’s enough. Gotta get my stretches in. Hmm…I wonder where she’s sitting…*

It’s just too bad the Phils won’t be back here until July…

Happy Friday!

*So, I don’t think I should have to note that 99% of this conversation is made up, but I will….just in case. I wouln’t want my Phillies to stumble over here and get upset.

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – thank GOD it’s Friday. It has been a long, busy week, and I couldn’t be looking forward to the weekend more. For several reasons:

1) I’m going home to Philly for Easter – and bringing the boyfriend. He’s already met the parents, but this time he gets to meet my younger brother (22). Apparently parental approval is nothing (all right, not nothing) compared to the highly coveted sibling approval. But it’s okay. I’m very optimistic.

2) Even though I can’t have chocolate, there are always other goodies in my Easter basket to enjoy. Namely, wine. Need I say more?

3) While Easter weekend isn’t technically a three-day weekend (for me), it will be this year. I’m taking Monday off to go see the Phillies vs. the Nationals for the Nats home opener! Our seats are high enough up that I might consider bringing binoculars, but I’ll take whatever chance I get to see my Phillies. And Jayson Werth. *swoon*

Whether you’re traveling, staying put, celebrating a holiday, or just enjoying a well-deserved, beautiful (so far so good!) weekend – happy Friday!

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I’ve been thinking about this list off and on for a while now, after a friend brought it up. And frankly, it’s hard. I don’t think I can even commit to the laminated part. Just the top five. And even then I might need a flex spot. Or alternates. Can I do that?

Anyway, in no particular order (although, 1 and 2  are pretty spot on):

1. Jayson Werth

Let’s be honest – I could make an entire top five list out of baseball players. I can think of at least three more off the top of my head. And that’s not including this next guy.

2. Andre Ethier

Not only is he adorable, and an excellent outfielder (which I can say now, in the off season), but he also has his own blog!

3. John Cusack

I’m a sucker for a John Cusack movie. Hello?  Lloyd Dobler? “I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.” Not to mention Rob Gordon – who would totally appreciate a top five list.

4. John Mayer

There are certain people you’re attracted to before you even see their face. For me, it was hearing John Mayer’s voice, circa Room for Squares,  that got me hooked. *swoon*

5. Will Smith

Classic example of wanting someone who will make you laugh. Plus, I’m sure he’d be impressed that I still know all (or most) of the words to Big Willie Style. How could he not be?


6. Christian Bale (as long as he’s in a good mood – no hissy fits)

Okay, so there’s just the one alternate for now, but I reserve the right to add more. Or to turn this into a top ten list. Whatever works.

Who’s on your laminated list?

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After reading a post a few weeks ago by Foggy Dew, in which he touched on how interesting it might be to be a window washer, I started thinking about alternative careers, myself. Now, I don’t know that I’d want to do any of these for an extended period of time (except maybe the last one), but for a week or so? Absolutely.

1. Massage Therapist

This is possibly the most vanilla of my possible career choices, but I do think it would be fun. In a purely unofficial capacity, I’ve already given out a fair share of massages to friends – and I enjoy it. (That’s not to say that I don’t a like a massage for me, too, from time to time.) I like working out the knots – getting that last little neck or back crack out.

And there are so many individual reactions to massages – vocal appreciation, shivers/twitches, even laughing when you hit those spots that are kind of ticklish, yet really need to be worked – that it makes for excellent people observing, too.

2. Baseball Umpire

I contemplated putting this one in as any kind of umpire/referee, but I think baseball might be the safest bet. I don’t want to be on the field/court/ice trying to stay out of the way of professional athletes. An umpire still has to dodge foul balls occasionally, but I like to think there’s a little less risk and a lot more perks. (Think: being the home plate umpire and seeing every player come up to the plate. Oh, those baseball pants…)

Also, considering some of the calls that have been made in this post-season, I think I’m pretty qualified. Or, at least, that I couldn’t mess up the calls anymore.

(Are there any female umpires, anyway?)

3. Construction Worker

I love power tools. I also love machinery. Maybe that’s kind of a weird thing to say. Whatever. At my high school job I got to learn how to operate a forklift and it was quite the rush. So I’d only want to do construction if I got a cool job driving one of the bulldozers or backhoes. I’m so not going to be that chick holding the Slow/Stop sign.



If she can do it...

4. “Voice”

Remember the Friends episode where Joey comments on the voice on Monica’s answering machine? (No? Just me?) “How cool would that be? ‘You have two new messages.’ ‘Please pass the pie.‘”

Okay, well I thought it was funny. And possibly one of the stranger/how-do-you-even-get-that jobs out there. Although, I suppose with more people just relying on their cell phones, answering machines are becoming more obsolete. Sad.

5. Map Creator for “Garmin – Adventure Mode”

Now this one, I think, has potential. I know that most people use their Garmins (or whatever GPS tool they have) to find directions to somewhere they’ve never been. You just want the fastest, most direct route. I get that. But when I was growing up, that wasn’t really the norm.

We used to play a car game that involved me closing my eyes after I buckled in, my parents taking all sorts of extra turns and back roads, and me trying to open my eyes just as we were pulling into the driveway. I wasn’t always successful, but the times I was, I was so proud. From any given point, I knew about a half dozen ways to get home. And from home, I knew at least three different ways to get to any mall, restaurant, friend’s house, etc.

So, I want a Garmin that doesn’t take me on the main roads. I want one that takes me by neighborhoods, through back lanes, and still pops me out by my destination in a comparable amount of time. And if I have to drive around constantly to find all those extra routes in order to create and test those adventure maps, well, so be it. I’ll take one for the team.


You rarely get this view on the highway

So, to steal again from Foggy – if you could choose an alternate career for a week (or, whatever time frame you desire), what would it be?

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